Wellness Letter: Behavioral Health News

The Gift of Emotional Well-being
By Dr. Stephanie Buehler

At holiday time, it is very easy to get so caught up in festivities that you may not have time for reflection. In our extroverted Western culture, we are supposed to be out and about with friends and family during bad weather (even in OC!), but in Eastern culture, winter is a time to gather inward. What would it look like to put aside a gift to yourself this holiday season?

Here are some ideas that you may not have thought of:

1. A sanctuary. Do you have a place within your home that you can retreat to and relax? You don’t need an entire room. Just a corner with a comfortable chair and a basket of reading material can do the trick. If you live with others, tell them that this is your corner, and that when you are here you are in need of peace and quiet. Teaching others to respect your need for retreat may inspire them to also seek alone time. How much different might your household be if everyone was permitted to take time for oneself?
   
   
2. A journal. I have been keeping a journal off and on for — goodness, has it been a few decades!? A journal can simply be a record of where you’ve been, but it can also be much more. Use it to record your thoughts, feelings, and various interactions and what they mean to you. Create dialogues with different aspects of yourself. Check in with yourself regarding your current spiritual beliefs, childrearing philosophy, or ideas about marriage or family. Write down your wishes — now is a good time to start a journal to record what you would like to see come into fruition for 2006. Choose a plain, spiral bound book or a fancy, handmade journal. Some people, myself included, also include images from magazines, rubber stamps, and ink drawings. Be creative!
   
   
3. Music. Instead of your usual holiday music, try stimulating your brain. If you always listen to Bing Cosby, trade him in for Hawaiian slack key guitar holiday tunes. Or try acoustic guitar, piano, jazz, flamenco, or even silly tunes a la Dr. Dimento. When you have a personalized collection, it is easier to find music that suits your mood. Music makes for wonderful therapy. A general guideline is to start with music that fits your mood, then switch to the music you want your mood to be. So, if you are feeling blue but want to feel energized, start with cello concertos, and switch to reggae. If you need suggestions, please contact me; I have several lists that I can copy and give to you.
   
   
4. Fragrance. One of the biggest areas in your brain is your olfactory bulb — in fact, your sense of smell is the only one that is so directly connected with your brain. Aromatherapy oils — essential oils from flowers and plants — are a safe and lovely way to treat yourself. Aromatherapy oils can be used by anyone, male or female, young or old. The very simplest way to use an oil is to sprinkle one or two drops onto a linen handkerchief or even a paper tissue in a pinch, then sniff as needed. A neater way is to use an oil diffuser such as the terra cotta ones we now have at The Center. Some oils are calming, some are energizing, and some are even sensual and romantic. If you don’t know what’s what — no worries! We have a “decoder” that you can use to figure out what oil will benefit you, or simply try an already blended combination of oils. Or ask Dr. Huang or I to help you. We are real believers in the positive power of aromatherapy.

Finally, consider asking for something unique, or make a purchase for yourself. Have you wanted to try a hobby? This is a good time to look for well-designed, inexpensive kits. Many people don’t seem to have outside interests to distract them. People are not always available, things don’t always go well. A hobby or interest can absorb your attention and get your mind off your troubles.

May you have wonderful emotional well-being over the holidays, and a healthy and cheerful 2006!

—December 2005