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Wellness Letter: Behavioral Health News Change: A Way of Life Happy New Year! Whether you are starting the new year with optimism or trepidation, one thing is certain: 2006 will bring change. How do I know this? Because change is an inevitable part of life, even if we human beings want to pretend this is not so. In fact, you are changing right now, as you sit and read this text. Your cells are generating and dying. You are both creating and eliminating thoughts. The way in which you deal with change affects the quality of your life. When I think of change, I often think of human development. If you have taken a basic course in human development, then you know that we seem to develop in stages that are an interaction between physical changes within ourselves (which includes brain development, hormonal regulation, and preparation for reproduction) and the environment (which includes people, systems, places, things, and experiences). We are constantly in a state of flux, constantly trying to adapt to challenges by using our physical abilities and psychological experiences. Sometimes our development stagnates. Experiencing tough treatment or sad circumstances can cause someone to freeze in time. Growing up in a chaotic household, or in a time or place of war, having a serious illness in childhood, or suffering enormous loss such as parental divorce or premature death of a parent are examples of events that can affect one’s development. It is as if difficult events cause someone’s beliefs about themselves and the world to stop at that point in time, and the person keeps acting as if the threat is on-going, even if this is not so. But trauma is not the only thing that can cause us to become stuck in our development, reluctant to change and grow. Simply not accepting reality — things change — can leave us rigid and unbending. We keep trying to use our old tricks to deal with new things, and end up frustrated and irrationally wondering why things aren’t going our way when the simple fact is that we don’t have control over so much that happens. Flexibility, creativity, the ability to problem-solve and adapt are key to coping with change — and it doesn’t hurt to have a sense of humor, either! Certainly there are changes that are special challenges, changes that may flatten us for a time and make us wonder if things will ever be the same again. The truth is, things really may not ever be “the same,” but they may be all right. Patience with ourselves can be helpful during such times. In eastern culture, life’s challenges are like mud — thick and gloppy and unpleasant, but a good environment for growing lotus, which rise above the mud to blossom and thrive. The lotus has adapted to an unpleasant environment and is able to transcend simply through growth. We can do the same. How does the inability to deal with change affect health? It causes emotional stress. Think of it this way: we only have so much psychic energy (mental juice) to deal with what we are given each day. Imagine having a cup of psychic energy that will not be replenished when it is emptied. How are you going to spend your cup of energy? Will you spend it trying to apply the same old rigid ways of doing things to new circumstances that require a new approach? How much energy might that take? What if, instead, you were able to take things as they came, accept them, and deal with them in a reflective, not reactive, way? Reacting to change demonstrates that you are using your same old defenses. Being able to relax and accept change allows you some breathing room, allows you to take time to reflect and determine the best way to deal with circumstances. You may not always be right, but you won’t end up feeling like a used rag at the end of the day, and you may even have something leftover in your cup to do something pleasurable instead of falling into bed, defeated. —January 2006
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